If it is not the worst film I have ever seen, that makes it all the more shameful: People with talent allowed themselves to participate in this travesty. Here’s how Ebert kicked off his review when he got back to his typewriter: ‘Caligula’ is sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Bob Guccione’s big-budget Ancient Rome porn extravaganza, Caligula. A film that was so inept and god-awful he had to get up and walk out of the theater. Still, even the most masochistic movie reviewer can have his or her limit. It’s 406 pages long-and according to Ebert, it merely represented the tip of the iceberg. Hundreds? Thousands? The doorstop-thickness of his essential anthology, I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie offers a hint at the sheer massiveness of the number. I wouldn’t know where to even begin when it comes to tallying up how many truly shitty movies Roger Ebert had to sit through in his four-and-a-half decades as a film critic.
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